Skip to main content

CITYWIDE “RIOT” IN INGLEWOOD AS CLIPPERS FALL TO 0-10

 


BREAKING: Chaos in Inglewood tonight as fans of the Los Angeles Clippers rioted across the city following the blowout loss to the Toronto Raptors. A chaotic sight, the mob of fans totalled nearly eight people, and has caused $27 dollars in property damage and counting, having tipped over several trash cans and halfheartedly attempting to flip a car for around 20 minutes.

City officials expressed shock and confusion at the action, with Mayor James Butts quoted as saying that he “honestly forgot that the team was playing here now. They have fans? People pay to watch them? I assumed that this was just like a city-wide prank that we were playing on the players.”

In addition, the crowd was also seen attempting to raise funds to erect a “Sell the Team” billboard, passing around a hat to each of the rioters. A brief altercation nearly erupted after accusations that the hat had less money at the start than the end, only stopping after the group was mocked by a gaggle of roaming teenagers.

As of the time of reporting, the fans were seen trying to fight a visiting Toronto Raptors fan, only to stop and stand awkwardly after realizing he looked way bigger up close than he did from far away.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Not Chris 2025 NBN Mock Draft

Welcome to my 2025 NBN Mock Draft, which will definitely be outdated by the time I publish it! Not projecting any trades because teams are crazy and too hard to predict. TLDR at bottom.  1. Houston Rockets - Cooper Flagg, F, Duke No brainer here. Flagg is by far the best player in this draft, and one of the best prospects we’ve seen in the last 10 years. Houston’s tank paid off, and they get a do-it-all forward with a Jordan-esque competitive drive to build around.  2. Charlotte Hornets - Dylan Harper, G, Rutgers Charlotte pulled a stunner earlier this week, trading picks 5, 6, and Zach Edey to Dallas for the #2 pick, where they will likely select Dylan Harper. Harper is a 6’6 intelligent guard with All-Star upside. He will pair nicely with Paolo Banchero as another dynamic playmaker with scoring punch, this time with more shooting upside. This move signals Charlotte’s intent to move off All-Star LaMelo Ball (who they sneakily gave up a lot for; Stephon Castle, Nik...

Suns Players Listen in Awe as Westbrook Shares Magical Stories

PHOENIX - A warm fire crackled in the background as the Phoenix Suns took part in one of their favorite offseason traditions: listening to Russell Westbrook tell stories of his time with the Magic.  As members of the richest family in the NBN, most Suns players had never left the expansive fields on which their Victorian mansion sat, but the elder Westbrook was adopted into the family two years ago; before that, the vet lived a humble life in a faraway land called Orlando.  The Suns sat in a tight circle around Westbrook and looked up at him, their eyes full of wonder. "Mr. Westbrook," shouted a child's voice from the back of the group. "Is it true that in Orlando they sent away the children they couldn't afford?" Westbrook's eyes darkened, his visage saddening in the flickering light of the fireplace. "Yes, Devin, that happened quite a lot," he explained as gently as he could. "I remember one child, Immanuel, who was taken down to the mar...

Federal Investigation of Marcus Smart Comes Up Emptyhanded: "He just sucks"

WASHINGTON, DC - The Federal Bureau of Investigation revealed today in a press conference that they had recently wrapped up a three-year probe into the possible involvement of Marcus Smart in an illegal betting operation. However, despite their best efforts, the agency admitted that they had found no proof that the two-way guard was fixing his stats at all. "In all honestly, we saw this as an open-and-shut case," said FBI director Kash Patel. "I'm pretty sure I could go out there and put up better numbers than 2021 Marcus Smart. I think all of us in this room could. But the only crime Marcus seems to have committed is being bad at basketball." Smart, who has played for six franchises in his NBN career, has only made the playoffs once, in 2022 as a member of the 2022 Warriors. In 2020-21, Smart averaged a putrid 38% true shooting percentage with the Celtics, before being shipped to Oklahoma City, where he went 1-18 in his 19 games and shot 28.7% from the floor. I...