Skip to main content

Commissioner Reacts to CF’s Stunning Return to Memphis: “Shocking. Unbelievable. Never Saw This Coming.”


NBN Headquarters – In a turn of events that has absolutely no precedent whatsoever, short-time Memphis Grizzlies GM CF has decided that, actually, he’s not leaving after all.

Grizzlies owner meem broke the news to the league on Saturday, stating, “CF confirmed with me today that he will be returning as my GM. Excellent news!” The announcement comes just weeks after CF himself had publicly declared that this offseason would mark the end of his tenure in Memphis.

League Commissioner Chuck, when reached for comment, was stunned—or at least, he played along as if he were.

"Shocking. Unbelievable. Never saw this coming," Chuck deadpanned, before reportedly having to pause for a moment to recover from the sheer unexpectedness of it all.

CF’s “will he, won’t he” act has become something of an offseason tradition in the NBN, with his name perennially surfacing in discussions of potential vacancies—only for him to ultimately decide that Memphis is still the place to be. Some around the league have started referring to CF’s retirement plans as the Grizzlies’ Last Dance: Extended Cut.

With CF back in the fold, Memphis can now shift its focus to the upcoming season, looking to build on their recent successes. But one thing’s for sure—until the first tip-off of next season, nobody in the NBN will truly believe CF is staying.

Just in case, meem might want to keep that “Help Wanted” sign within reach.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Not Chris 2025 NBN Mock Draft

Welcome to my 2025 NBN Mock Draft, which will definitely be outdated by the time I publish it! Not projecting any trades because teams are crazy and too hard to predict. TLDR at bottom.  1. Houston Rockets - Cooper Flagg, F, Duke No brainer here. Flagg is by far the best player in this draft, and one of the best prospects we’ve seen in the last 10 years. Houston’s tank paid off, and they get a do-it-all forward with a Jordan-esque competitive drive to build around.  2. Charlotte Hornets - Dylan Harper, G, Rutgers Charlotte pulled a stunner earlier this week, trading picks 5, 6, and Zach Edey to Dallas for the #2 pick, where they will likely select Dylan Harper. Harper is a 6’6 intelligent guard with All-Star upside. He will pair nicely with Paolo Banchero as another dynamic playmaker with scoring punch, this time with more shooting upside. This move signals Charlotte’s intent to move off All-Star LaMelo Ball (who they sneakily gave up a lot for; Stephon Castle, Nik...
Post a Comment
Read more

Suns Players Listen in Awe as Westbrook Shares Magical Stories

PHOENIX - A warm fire crackled in the background as the Phoenix Suns took part in one of their favorite offseason traditions: listening to Russell Westbrook tell stories of his time with the Magic.  As members of the richest family in the NBN, most Suns players had never left the expansive fields on which their Victorian mansion sat, but the elder Westbrook was adopted into the family two years ago; before that, the vet lived a humble life in a faraway land called Orlando.  The Suns sat in a tight circle around Westbrook and looked up at him, their eyes full of wonder. "Mr. Westbrook," shouted a child's voice from the back of the group. "Is it true that in Orlando they sent away the children they couldn't afford?" Westbrook's eyes darkened, his visage saddening in the flickering light of the fireplace. "Yes, Devin, that happened quite a lot," he explained as gently as he could. "I remember one child, Immanuel, who was taken down to the mar...
Post a Comment
Read more

Federal Investigation of Marcus Smart Comes Up Emptyhanded: "He just sucks"

WASHINGTON, DC - The Federal Bureau of Investigation revealed today in a press conference that they had recently wrapped up a three-year probe into the possible involvement of Marcus Smart in an illegal betting operation. However, despite their best efforts, the agency admitted that they had found no proof that the two-way guard was fixing his stats at all. "In all honestly, we saw this as an open-and-shut case," said FBI director Kash Patel. "I'm pretty sure I could go out there and put up better numbers than 2021 Marcus Smart. I think all of us in this room could. But the only crime Marcus seems to have committed is being bad at basketball." Smart, who has played for six franchises in his NBN career, has only made the playoffs once, in 2022 as a member of the 2022 Warriors. In 2020-21, Smart averaged a putrid 38% true shooting percentage with the Celtics, before being shipped to Oklahoma City, where he went 1-18 in his 19 games and shot 28.7% from the floor. I...
Post a Comment
Read more