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Commissioner Reacts to CF’s Stunning Return to Memphis: “Shocking. Unbelievable. Never Saw This Coming.”


NBN Headquarters – In a turn of events that has absolutely no precedent whatsoever, short-time Memphis Grizzlies GM CF has decided that, actually, he’s not leaving after all.

Grizzlies owner meem broke the news to the league on Saturday, stating, “CF confirmed with me today that he will be returning as my GM. Excellent news!” The announcement comes just weeks after CF himself had publicly declared that this offseason would mark the end of his tenure in Memphis.

League Commissioner Chuck, when reached for comment, was stunned—or at least, he played along as if he were.

"Shocking. Unbelievable. Never saw this coming," Chuck deadpanned, before reportedly having to pause for a moment to recover from the sheer unexpectedness of it all.

CF’s “will he, won’t he” act has become something of an offseason tradition in the NBN, with his name perennially surfacing in discussions of potential vacancies—only for him to ultimately decide that Memphis is still the place to be. Some around the league have started referring to CF’s retirement plans as the Grizzlies’ Last Dance: Extended Cut.

With CF back in the fold, Memphis can now shift its focus to the upcoming season, looking to build on their recent successes. But one thing’s for sure—until the first tip-off of next season, nobody in the NBN will truly believe CF is staying.

Just in case, meem might want to keep that “Help Wanted” sign within reach.

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