Israel and Palestine Declare Ceasefire to Watch the Timberwolves Lose on Stream

JERUSALEM - Leaders from Hamas met with Israeli government officials this morning in order to sign an unprecedented temporary ceasefire, designed to allow the citizens of the war-torn countries to tune into the first Minnesota Timberwolves stream of 2025.

Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu embraced Hamas chairman Khaled Mashal after signing the order, which orders military on both sides to put down their weapons until midnight tonight.

"Some things are bigger than this war," said Mashal, addressing the small but illustrious audience. "The world comes together to watch the Timberwolves implode on stream."

"It's a time of transnational catharsis," explained Netanyahu. "'Fuck the Timberwolves' is something everyone can get behind, whether you believe bombing Palestinian hospitals is good or not."

The leaders then sat to tune into the game together. A brief scuffle broke out when a Palestinian attendee said something incredibly racist, but just at that moment Jaylen Brown put Mark Williams on a poster, sending the room into a roar of applause.

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