Skip to main content

Nobody Cares That Jabari Smith Jr. Is Out 4-6 Weeks



Eyewitnesses attest that Jabari Smith Jr. may have
been carried off in a stretcher such as this one.
CHICAGO, IL - Bulls forward Jabari Smith Jr. seemed dejected after Chicago's emphatic win over the Rockets yesterday afternoon.

"It's like they all forgot about me," he could be heard wailing in the Bulls locker room as the facility shut down for the night.

Smith suffered a fracture seven minutes into the game against Houston, which is set to sideline him up to six weeks during a critical time for the Bulls to establish themselves in the East. In another game, mere moments after Smith was helped off the floor, Atlanta Hawks guard Cade Cunningham sprained his ankle on a closeout against the Trail Blazers, and also expects a long timetable to return. 

Unfortunately for Smith, while Cunningham's injury sent murmurs through the league and sparked snide comments and well-wishes alike from millions of people, no news outlet or insider even mentioned Smith's injury until NBN Today did, well, today.

The Bulls young self-proclaimed budding superstar noted that even his own teammates and medical staff were only talking about Cunningham's ankle on the sidelines and in the locker room after the game. Smith believed he saw owner Chitownloyalty coming over to console him later that afternoon, but it turned out he was actually trying to hug the Michael Jordan statue behind him. 

"It's good luck to hug Michael," the longtime owner explained later to NBN Today. "When someone with so much potential and skill gets injured, you need to send them all the energy you have. My condolences go out to Cade and his family." 

Before leaving, he told Smith to also hug the statue "out of respect" and that if he didn't, he wouldn't be starting in tomorrow's game against the Pistons.

"I'm a young star, too, you know," Jabari said on an Instagram broadcast last night to twelve viewers. "I play a huge role for this up-and-coming Bulls team and sometimes it feels like it's just about the other guys."

As of noon Eastern time today, Cade Cunningham's injury has four reactions on #injury-report, including a broken heart emoji. Jabari Smith's injury has no reactions.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Not Chris 2025 NBN Mock Draft

Welcome to my 2025 NBN Mock Draft, which will definitely be outdated by the time I publish it! Not projecting any trades because teams are crazy and too hard to predict. TLDR at bottom.  1. Houston Rockets - Cooper Flagg, F, Duke No brainer here. Flagg is by far the best player in this draft, and one of the best prospects we’ve seen in the last 10 years. Houston’s tank paid off, and they get a do-it-all forward with a Jordan-esque competitive drive to build around.  2. Charlotte Hornets - Dylan Harper, G, Rutgers Charlotte pulled a stunner earlier this week, trading picks 5, 6, and Zach Edey to Dallas for the #2 pick, where they will likely select Dylan Harper. Harper is a 6’6 intelligent guard with All-Star upside. He will pair nicely with Paolo Banchero as another dynamic playmaker with scoring punch, this time with more shooting upside. This move signals Charlotte’s intent to move off All-Star LaMelo Ball (who they sneakily gave up a lot for; Stephon Castle, Nik...

Suns Players Listen in Awe as Westbrook Shares Magical Stories

PHOENIX - A warm fire crackled in the background as the Phoenix Suns took part in one of their favorite offseason traditions: listening to Russell Westbrook tell stories of his time with the Magic.  As members of the richest family in the NBN, most Suns players had never left the expansive fields on which their Victorian mansion sat, but the elder Westbrook was adopted into the family two years ago; before that, the vet lived a humble life in a faraway land called Orlando.  The Suns sat in a tight circle around Westbrook and looked up at him, their eyes full of wonder. "Mr. Westbrook," shouted a child's voice from the back of the group. "Is it true that in Orlando they sent away the children they couldn't afford?" Westbrook's eyes darkened, his visage saddening in the flickering light of the fireplace. "Yes, Devin, that happened quite a lot," he explained as gently as he could. "I remember one child, Immanuel, who was taken down to the mar...

Federal Investigation of Marcus Smart Comes Up Emptyhanded: "He just sucks"

WASHINGTON, DC - The Federal Bureau of Investigation revealed today in a press conference that they had recently wrapped up a three-year probe into the possible involvement of Marcus Smart in an illegal betting operation. However, despite their best efforts, the agency admitted that they had found no proof that the two-way guard was fixing his stats at all. "In all honestly, we saw this as an open-and-shut case," said FBI director Kash Patel. "I'm pretty sure I could go out there and put up better numbers than 2021 Marcus Smart. I think all of us in this room could. But the only crime Marcus seems to have committed is being bad at basketball." Smart, who has played for six franchises in his NBN career, has only made the playoffs once, in 2022 as a member of the 2022 Warriors. In 2020-21, Smart averaged a putrid 38% true shooting percentage with the Celtics, before being shipped to Oklahoma City, where he went 1-18 in his 19 games and shot 28.7% from the floor. I...