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Isaiah Hartenstein Believes He Can Start: "I feel like I'm being gaslit

The only known image of Hartenstein
participating in pre-game warmups.


CLEVELAND, OH - Cavaliers big man Isaiah Hartenstein expressed discomfort in a post-game interview last Sunday, describing a growing, nagging feeling that his own potential was being hidden from him.

"I don't know, I just feel like I wasn't born to be an end-of-rotation player," the 7-footer lamented after playing 17 minutes in a loss against Milwaukee. "I can't describe it, there's just something in the back of my head that tells me somewhere out there, there's a parallel universe where I'm starting for one of the best teams in the league."

When reached for comment, Cavs owner Killerdawg7 was quick to say that Hartenstein is flat out not ready for such a role. 

"We tell him every day after practice, you are living in a fantasy world. Look, we all love Isaiah in this organization. But he is a role player at best, and that's that."

Hartenstein described how he spends most evenings crying in Killerdawg7's office, begging for a chance to prove himself. Despite accepting a team-friendly extension and playing with 50% effort against opposing bench units, the big man has not made any dent in his front office's firm stance that he is insane and borderline schizophrenic.

Hartenstein scored 22 points and collected 18 rebounds in 4 minutes off the bench last night for the Cavs.

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