NBN Today

LOS ANGELES - The Wolves team bus pulled into an empty Crypto.com Arena parking lot this morning in anticipation of their 9/10-seed Play-In matchup. However, players and coaches deboarding the bus were shocked to find the entire lot completely empty and silent, with the exception of the faint sounds of ancient Chinese songs being played on a guqin .  The confused group soon located the source of the sound; Lakers owner RJ could be seen seated on the arena's rooftop, engrossed in his performance. "It was unsettling, to be honest," admitted Timberwolves star Domantas Sabonis. "RJ is a smart and cunning owner, and seeing his relaxed composure as he played beautiful Chinese traditional music made it clear to us that the Lakers were more than prepared to challenge us." RJ's bluff was also made more compelling due to the Lakers' inexplicable free agency signings leading up to the play-in. "We noticed, and [RJ] knows it, too," said Wolves owner Jonny....

PORTLAND, OR - A would-be arsonist was seen on CCTV crouched outside a Tesla dealership last night with at least three gallons of kerosene. However, the man, identified later as Kevin LeDuc, could be seen becoming engrossed with an NBN game on one of the televisions that was left on in the Tesla show room. As he cupped his hands around his face to peer through the window, LeDuc witnessed the Denver Nuggets defeat the Timberwolves and effectively destroy their play-in dreams. Then, the footage shows LeDuc putting his barrels of kerosene back in his Subaru and leaving the scene without doing any damage to the dealership or its property. Given that he did not commit any crimes, LeDuc will not see charges pressed against him. NBN Today caught up with the would-be arsonist, who was identified by the various swinging and group sex-related bumper stickers on the back of his vehicle. "Yes, I did have some nefarious thoughts when I arrived at that Tesla dealership," LeDuc explained. ...

  By Faster Holmes, April 1, 2025 In an absolutely wild turn of events, KMan, the once beloved (and now former ) owner of the Philadelphia 76ers, has been kicked to the curb in the most dramatic way possible after a shocking confrontation with his long-time partner, MikeTheParrott. So, how did this all go down? Hold onto your popcorn, folks, because this story is packed with explosive drama , secret deals, and one very wild escape! The Trade That Set It All Off Everything went south when KMan decided to secretly orchestrate a massive trade involving the 76ers and the Golden State Warriors. KMan, acting alone, arranged to send THREE key players - Ben Simmons, Devin Vassell, and Jared McCain - to Golden State in exchange for future Hall of Famer Stephen Curry . Now, we all know how big that trade would be, but here’s where things get interesting ... KMan didn't tell MikeTheParrott, his partner in crime , about the full details. According to sources , KMan only fed Mike bits and pi...