It’s that time. The offseason is almost over and a new season looms ahead. Who made a big splash and who made a pee-pee in their pants?
Winner: The New Orleans Pelicans
The New Orleans Pelicans definitely win the title of biggest acquisitions this summer. They were, I think, the only team who was actually able to steal a top-tier FA from another team in Damian Lillard, who was let go by the Thunder (allegedly something personal with the new owner). But, Dame Dolla will be rapping in New Orleans now, who also acquired Lauri Markkanen and Jarrett Allen in trades and retained Tyrese Maxey. So they basically went from the bottom of the West to probably like 4-6 seed range, higher if they can prove me wrong in a competitive conference. But with role players like Klay Thompson and Luke Kennard, there will be no shortage of offense on this Pelicans team, and they might be one of the highest octane offenses of 2025.
Loser: Anyone Who Hoped to Use Cap Space Except the Pelicans
On the flip side, if you were one of the many other teams who waltzed into free agency with big intentions, you probably ended up disappointed. The list of free agents who re-signed with their incumbent teams is long: LeBron James, Paul George, Jaylen Brown, Kawhi Leonard, Domantas Sabonis, the list goes on and on. The RFA scene wasn’t friendly to cap space teams either; the Portland Trail Blazers striked out on Jaden McDaniels, Aaron Nesmith, Cole Anthony, and Aaron Wiggins. Insane that they went into FA with $40M in cap space and all they got to show for it was Xavier Tillman and a minimum roster charge.
Winner: The Chicago Bulls
Victor Wembanyama winning ROTY and DPOY last year likely heralds the beginning of a new face of the NBN. I think that starting this season, Wemby will be the best player in the league. He checks all the boxes: he’s a big, he’s tall as fuck, he has an archetype that will make him dominant in 2K, like taller, better AD. The Bulls are doing their part to build a team around their superstar, acquiring Jamal Murray and CJ McCollum, two playoff veterans who are some of the most iconic complementary stars of the last decade. This will allow Jabari Smith and Jalen Duren to be the 4th and 5th guys on this big starting five, taking the pressure off of their young, still developing players. I think Chicago’s sights should be set on a top 4 seed this season.
Winner: The Boston Celtics (and Joel Embiid)
For the Celtics, the acquisition of Joel Embiid, though it stripped them of almost all of their depth, is a move whose due time has come. They’ve gotten knocked out of the playoffs every season, despite having Jayson Tatum and, at times, Jalen Brown. The last mini-era of Celtics basketball that featured Anfernee Simons was a big flop, and what should be the best years of Tatum’s career are quickly flying by. So, given the opportunity to (take advantage of a new owner and) acquire the perennial MVP candidate and two-way superstar Joel Embiid, why wouldn’t you? From Embiid’s perspective, dude has been rotting away in Washington ever since Kman decided building around Ben Simmons was a good idea. Yeah, he had Bradley Beal, but Tatum is definitely a huge upgrade on paper. He should be very happy at what I see as a real opportunity to make a deep playoff run, with the right in-season moves.
Loser: People who have to watch Embiid play
For having to see Joel Embiid in a Celtics jersey.
Loser: James Harden
Playing for the Wizards is like being in Hell. A horrible, humid, disgusting Hell and you’re in there with like G-leaguers and some 43-year-old shriveled veteran who apparently likes it there and has been there for four years and plays 40 minutes a game for some reason even though Satan promised better guys like Cody Zeller he’d start. And you can free yourself from this Hell, but in order to do so, you have to trade places with an unsuspecting human from the living realm, cursing them to be clasped by the shackles which once bound you to your punishment. That’s what Joel Embiid did to James Harden.
Loser: The Miami Heat
It’s like the Despicable Me meme, where you trade for Jarrett Allen, have to include Keyonte George, three firsts, and two seconds because you want to contend with a respectable core of Allen and Tyler Herro. Then, one month later, you trade Allen again for one first! Yes, it’s the 2025 Lakers 1st, which could be good, but in my opinion that’s more like a late lottery pick (I think the Lakers’ acquisitions of Immanuel Quickley and Draymond Green signal that they want to win games next season). I’m not sure what’s going on in Miami, maybe it was buyer’s remorse, maybe they uncovered some deep, dark, horrifying secret about Jarrett Allen. Regardless, despite a brief flutter of actual hope in Heat fans’ hearts, Miami looks like it will be right back where it was last year: directionless.
Winner: The Charlotte Hornets
Some will remember that once upon a time, the Charlotte Hornets were the laughingstocks of the NBN. This is a team that put up some of the most putrid seasons in (new) NBN history, and when I think of Hornets greats from that era, I think of guys like: Davonte Graham. Theo Maledon. Kira Lewis. You know, really bad basketball players. But under new ownership, the Hornets have quietly assembled some talent and potential, including trade acquisition Michael Porter Jr. and a slew of incoming rookies including preseason standouts Zach Edey and Zaccharie Risacher. The Hornets continue to bring in help for young star duo Paolo Banchero and Franz Wagner, and in an Eastern Conference that’s up for grabs, I could see this team sneaking into the playoffs for the first time in league history.
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